Previous Chapter: Chapter 56: Operation Reconquista Next Chapter: Chapter 58
Chapter 57: The Trembling White Landscape
Zezernan: Dammit! I can’t believe Shu Shirakawa saved Rof…! He’s always ruining everything for me…! Fine, then I’ll deal with all of this myself! Get over here, monkeys! You too, traitors!
*sup, deploy*
Mekibos: You’re trapped, Zezernan. If you want to surrender, you can.
Zezernan: Idiots! This is exactly what I wanted.
Mekibos: Oh?
Zezernan: Once I get rid of you, all that’s left is the riffraff. If the Council already know about the Earth’s situation, they’ll jump at the chance to get this power for themselves.
Mekibos: (He’s… not wrong about that.)
Shu: There’s only one thing wrong with your assessment. How can you expect to defeat us?
Zezernan: Heh. I’m only here because I have just the thing.
Michiru: The fuck’s with this old fart? He’s still pretty confident after getting chased all the way here.
Seti: He’s talking about the Baran Schnail.
Lune: What’s that?
Seti: A giant mobile weapon powered by a singularity, developed specifically to fight against species like yourselves. It has abilities surpassing the Digastes that Wendolo piloted, and with just 1 unit, it can pacify an entire battlefield.
Zeb: Thaaaat’s right, it’s his trump card. It can eeeeven fire on the earth’s capitals from heeeeeere.
Katina: So?
Zeb: Wha?
Ryuusei: I mean, the largest mechs we’ve seen up till now have been 50 kilometers long.
Seti: I-it’s certainly not that big, no…
Kouta: I dunno what you’re on about, but if it’s stronger than Dark Brain all we gotta do is pluck out its’ eye, right?
Ryuusei: At this point, we’ve fought people from other dimensions, immortal wizard hermits, and fairies. So it’s a giant mech, big whoop.
Mio: But wouldn’t you wanna take pictures if you could?
Ryuusei: Of course I would! …But now’s not the time.
Seti: (They’re pretty carefree, even now…. They’re even weirder than we thought.)
Zezernan: That reckless drive to fight even when it’s pointless…. The monkeys of this planet really are a danger to civilization.
Tasuku: You really love putting us down, don’t you?
Yuuki: You call us monkeys, but you’re just like us. You can insult our political systems, but your homeland does the exact same thing.
Zezernan: When I first came to the Earth, I looked into your history… I was surprised such an idiotic bunch of savages lived in this galaxy. Do you know exactly how many thousands of types of life you drove into extinction?
Yuuki: …
Zezernan: In the galactic republic, that’d be deserving a life sentence. We can’t let life forms who do that go about their business freely.
Mekibos: Don’t be so haughty about our culture. To make our republic, we wiped out a lot of species, too.
Zezernan: Not in the same time-frame. We can’t compare to how quickly they destroyed the other life-forms. And they continue to kill each other. They don’t use Biodroids like us, they still fight spilling the blood of their compatriots.
Mekibos: We were like that once. And now that they’ve got non-human enemies to fight, they’ve stopped their infighting completely.
Zezernan: But you know these earth monkeys love war far more than we do.
Mekibos: …
Zezernan: And their military knowledge is more in depth than we could have predicted. These monkeys have no respect for the balance of life. If we let them into our society, it would be utter chaos.
Ibis: We’re not trying to go to space to wage war!
Zezernan: And what about the other monkeys? You’ve already amassed weapons and brought them here.
Lune: The hell are you talking about?! We only did that because of you guys showing up to kill us!
Zezernan: I didn’t come here to start a war, dammit. I wanted to negotiate and move things along. But you ruined that, Shu Shirakawa.
Shu: …If you had tried to negotiate on equal terms, what happened in Antarctica wouldn’t have happened, and things could have played out differently.
Zezernan: I’m not going to negotiate on equal terms with savages.
Mekibos: That’s where your prejudices got the best of you, Zezernan. The Earthlings are a race that can negotiate with us on their own terms. That’s what I’ve realized in my struggles against them.
Zezernan: Ridiculous. You’ve lowered yourself to their level. Then you can share in their punishment.
Zeb: Is that all you have to say?[1]
Zezernan: What?
Zeb: You’ve talked a lot about keeping galactic society in order, but you really just want the Earth’s riches for yourself.
Rof: And you brought us in, used us, and threw us away when you had no more need of us.
Zeb: I followed your orders up till now… but I don’t have any reason to listen to your prattle anymore.
Seti: That’s right. I’m not going to fight for what you want any longer.
Zezernan: Seti, Zeb… You’ve forgotten everything I did for you!
Seti: Really? You’re going to tell us that after you planned to ditch us as soon as you could? We don’t owe you anything.
Zeb: Took the words out of my mouth.
Mai: He’s talking normally…?
Mekibos: When Zeb gets really pissed, he talks like this.
Chika: Then why does he talk like he usually does? Is he acting? Trying to establish a character tic? A joke? Is this how aliens joke?
Monika: I wonder if we could get you to talk slower by having you study under him for a while…
Chika: No thanks. I’m not going to pick up any tics from anyone else. Sides, it’s physically impossible for me to talk slow. Right, master?
Shu: I’d rather you not talk at all.
Mekibos: …I didn’t expect it to work… but I suppose we will have to fight Zezernan, after all. I’m sorry, Commander Lefina.
Lefina: It’s fine… Hearing how you handled this, I’m thinking it’s possible that one day we’ll be able to cooperate with the Zovorg. At least some of what Zezernan is saying is the truth, no matter how much Earthlings don’t want to hear it…. But we won’t let him get away with it.
Zezernan: Don’t talk big, monkeys. This moon will be your grave.
Irm: Right back at you. You’re going down along with your ambitions. You’re gonna sleep here on the moon nice and quietly.
Lefina: All units, our target is Zezernan! Begin the attack!
Chapter 57: The Trembling White Landscape
Victory: Defeat the Zelanio.
Defeat: The Hiryuu Custom is shot down
SR point: Shoot down more than 30 enemies within 3 turns.
*Zezernan V Irm*
Zezernan: You damned inferior life form…! There’s no place for you in this world.
Irm: That prejudice will be the end of you!
*Mekibos V Zezernan*
Mekibos: Zezernan, there’s no way your plan will work!
Zezernan: Heh, a puppet of the council like you could never stop me.
*Seti V Zezernan*
Seti: Zezernan! You’ll pay for tricking us!
Zezernan: You forget your place… Who the hell do you think I am?
*Zeb V Zezernan*
Zezernan: If you go against me, there will be no place in the homeland for you to return to!
Zeb: Your ship has already sunk.
*Rof V Zezernan*
Zezernan: You claim to be a mercenary, but you’re turning your sword on your employer?
Rof: My days as a merc are done with… but before that, I’m going to settle this with you!
*Shu v Zezernan*
Shu: I’ve been waiting for this moment. The moment where I’ve hunted you down, just before I destroy you.
Zezernan: Damn you, Shu Shirakawa! If you… If you hadn’t interfered, my plan would…!
Shu: That’s it… Curse the fact that you used me. And then die.[2]
*Ryuusei V Zezernan*
Ryuusei: You can’t stop us with that ship of yours! Hurry up and bring out the Baran Schnail!
Zezernan: Heh, don’t get cocky, you damned monkey.
*Blow him upppp*
Masaki: Did we get him?!
Seti: No, not yet! The Baran Schnail is coming out!
*Wu-oh*
Zezernan: *Chuckles*…. Making me use this…. The Baran Schnail was made specifically to counter beasts like yourselves… As long as I have this, I can destroy you annoying monkeys…. And I can take control of the Earth.
*Oh hey, more goons, too*
Rai: Rule the world with just machine? You sure like to exaggerate.
Ryuusei: I mean, it’s big, but not like, BIG big.
Seti: We were going to use that in our original plan instead of Long range canonships. It has the fire power of a battleship, with the maneuverability of the Geios Series mechs.
Ryuusei: I mean, honestly, I’d be more surprised by the canonships, I think.
Gilliam: No time for jokes. If he’s able to target the earth from here, you can easily imagine what else it can do. I don’t know whether to call it good luck or bad, but at the moment it’s likely that the Baral’s barrier will stop his attacks… but if he feels like it, he’d also be able to destroy the capital on the moon.
Ryuusei: Gr…!
Katina: In that case, we need to beat him quickly. We’ve been through this kind of hellscape before. And we’ll be through more like it in the future, too.
Tasuku: At the very least, 2 more, eh?
Gilliam: …Professor Shirakawa, can you use what you did last time?
Mekibos: Right, what you used to destroy my gravity barrier. Can you use it?
Shu: I can use it, but it will limit what machines can move. And since Zezernan is talking so confidently, it’s likely that he’s prepared some kind of counter measure.
Viletta: Then we’ll go about this the old fashioned way.
Shu: I think I like that way better, anyway.
Zezernan: Now come at me, monkeys. I’ll give you the death your kind deserves.
Yang Long: What does that say about yourself, given you got cornered by those monkeys?
Zezernan: All you monkeys are good at is fighting.
Kouta: Stop saying monkey, dammit! If you like monkeys so much, go to a wildlife preserve!
Michiru: Would aliens even know how to find one of those?
Kouta: Shut up, you!
Shouko: Hey! This isn’t the time to be yelling about this!
Zezernan: To be running your mouth like that in front of the Baran Schnail… You really are fools.
Shu: I wouldn’t take their power lightly, if I were you. They bested me, after all.
Zezernan: Hmmph, you’re not like me.
Shu: Is that so? Well then, let’s finish our feud here, Zezernan. It can only end in your humiliation. The disgrace of being defeated by those you call inferior lifeforms.
Zezernan: This ends with you dead! No matter how many monkeys you gathered here, you cannot defeat my Baran Schnail!
Masaki: You’re gonna look like a monkey yourself by the time we’re done with you![3]
Lefina: All units, attack! We’ll defeat Zezernan and stop the Guest’s attacks here!
Victory: Defeat the Baran Schnail.
*Another Mekibos V Zezernan*
Mekibos: Zezernan… Now that you’ve pulled out the Baran Schnail, it really looks like you’re on your last legs.
Zezernan: Hmph, so you still don’t know how I’ll win this fight. Now that you’ve sided with the monkeys, I suppose that’s all I can expect from you.
Mekibos: That confidence… It’s almost admirable.
*Zezernan V Seti*
Zezernan: Looks like it’s up to me to dispose of my useless subordinates.
Seti: You’ll be the one disposed of! It won’t be the Earthlings who destroy you, it’ll be me!
*Zeb V Zezernan*
Zeb: Ooooooh my, now I have to fight the Baran Schnail.
Zezernan: It’s too late to beg now. I’ll send you to your death.
Zeb: You’re the one being sent away. You can’t stop this from happening.
*Rof V Zezernan*
Zezernan: Your Zeidram can’t defeat my Baran Schnail. You’ll die screaming for turning against me.
Rof: Everything you’ve done has led to your defeat here. I don’t think everything will be fixed after this battle, but at the very least, we’ll be rid of you! If you’re still here, I can’t move on!
*Irm V Zezernan*
Irm: This is it, Zezernan. Now that you’ve pulled out your last trump card, you have no chance of winning.
Zezernan: Hmph. It’s so sad that you don’t know how weak you really are.
Irm: Right back at you!
*oh there’s one with ibis too*
Ibis: I’ll make it to the Milky Way! After…. After we stop you!
Zezernan: We won’t you monkeys do that! I’ll end your fantasies right here![4]
Sleigh: Someone as close minded as you could never stop my brother’s dreams!
Zezernan: No one cares about monkey dreams! Don’t make me laugh!
*Ryuusei, too*
Zezernan: The techniques used in that mech aren’t something we gave you.
Ryuusei: We already know the Aerogaters aren’t part of your homeland!
Zezernan: Then do you know what they’re really like?
Ryuusei: Well…
Zezernan: Just like I thought.
*Masaki too!*
Zezernan: I’m not about to give up… The secrets of the Cybuster will be mine.
Masaki: You’ll never be able to understand an Elemental Lord! Even if you make something similar, it won’t be enough!
*And Shu*
Zezernan: Not even the Granzon can stand up to the Baran Schnail!
Shu: The Granzon may have been made using Guest technology… but it has powers you never even dreamed were possible. Though I won’t need to show you the full potential, heheh.
*Kouta V Zezernan*
Kouta: Let’s see if your robot is as powerful as it is big!
Zezernan: Hmmph, you little monkey…. You’re not going to be getting out of this with just bruises.
*Also Mio I guess whatever*
Mio: You keep calling us monkeys, but I’ve seen Planet of the Apes and they seemed to be doing okay.
Zezernan: What are you talking about?
Mio: By the way, I’m more like a chimpanzee than a monkey.
Zezernan: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
*Anywho, he’s dead*
Zezernan: I-impossible! These inferior lifeforms! These monkeys! Why?!
Mekibos: Now!
Zezernan: Nnngh!
Irm: Mekibos, what are you-?!
Mekibos: I was told to do my best to capture Zezernan alive.
Michiru: W-why?!
Mekibos: Because he could give us information into other crimes. If he dies here, there will be many things we’ll never know.
Zezernan: I won’t take orders from monkeys… I won’t disgrace myself like you did!
Mekibos: Shut up! You’re going to take responsibility for what you’ve done!
Zezernan: Now that it’s come to this…!
Mekibos: What? A self-destruct mechanism?! Everyone, get out of here!
Zezernan: Remember this, Mekibos! You and the damn council, you’ll regret interfering with my plan one day!
Mekibos: Dammit!
Zezernan: This Earth is a blight on the galaxy! Look at it! It’s been consumed by things other than people! Not just monkeys! The beings born of the earth will one day destroy the galaxy! That planet is cursed! It’s the source of all misfortune! You’ll regret this! You’ll surely regret this! You’ll wish I would have succeeded one day! Curse your misfortune! Curse it! You’ll seeeeee!
*Boom*
Seti: Zezernan….
Mekibos: (Dammit, he took his secrets with him… Maybe it was his pride, or maybe he’s using this to guide the Zogar… Whatever the case, he was still talking big, right up to the end….)
*Inside*
Seti: At least… It’s over.
Mekibos: it’s not what I wanted to happen… But at least we stopped the fights with the Earth forces.
Rof: No, we’re still here. We may have to take responsibility for the fights our commander involved us in, in his stead. Now that Zezernan’s gone, the responsibility falls to me.
Zeb: Rof…!
Rof: So I don’t want anyone else to be punished. If you can promise that, you can have my head.
Seti: Rof….
Mekibos: He’s as stubborn as ever.
Zeb: Well, he issssss a mercenary. I’m the one with the moooooost responsibility.
Seti: Actually, I too…
Mekibos: I’ll do everything in my power to make sure the Council doesn’t touch you when we go home. But you should be prepared for a thorough grilling. After that, the VIPs will sort it out. Of course, I’ll put in a good word for you.
Rof: But the Military won’t let it end there.
Mekibos: I’ll figure something out. If you can get rid of the remaining firepower you have, I’ll go meet with the commanders. If you can’t scrap some machines or Biodroids, oh well. If the humans get some new toys, so be it. They’ve still got battles to fight.
Zeb: You reaaaally think it’ll end with that?
Mekibos: Well, the Earth’s in a bit of a state right now…. They don’t really have the free firepower to chase after us.
Zeb: I knoooow that, but what are yoooou going to do?
Mekibos: I’m gonna work with the Steel Dragons a bit more. So our peoples can get to know each other a bit better. Anyway, I’m going to meet with their commanders, so wait for me to contact you. See ya.
*bye*
Zeb: Weeeeell then, I guess weeee’re done.
Rof: Yeah…
Seti: Hey, Rof.
Rof: What is it?
Seti: If… If we’re able to return home safely… then…
Rof: …Yeah, I know.
Seti: Huh?
Rof: I don’t know what sentence they’ll dole out on us…. But if I’m still alive at the end of it, I plan on giving up mercenary life. I can’t return to my family, either… Even then… Seti, will you come with me?
Seti: O… Of course, Rof. As long as I’m with you, I’ll go anywhere…
Rof: I’m not good at anything besides fighting… But still, if you’re okay… with me…
Seti: Rof… I’ve been waiting… so long to hear that…
Zeb: (Maaaaaaan, I should find some place to get oooout of their hair)
*Meanwhile, at Mao*
Ring: I contacted Celebes. Our workers are safe there, too. I thank you for your help.
Irm: We had some help ourselves, from people we weren’t expecting.
Ring: The Inspectors, eh? I’m certainly surprised that the last people who took over the moon helped us reclaim it this time.
Irm: It’s a long story, but it seems like a lot of stuff was going down on their end, too.
Ring: What are you going to do now?
Irm: Well… I think we’re going to try to ambush the Garden of Baral, or try to drop down to the surface. We’re discussing it now.
Ring: Sounds like either way, it’ll be a risky mission…
Irm: Oh, are you worried about me?
Ring: Of course I am. I want to help you, but right now…
Irm: …I found a nice shop in Tokyo.
Ring: ?
Irm: I promise to take you there. So make some time for it, if you can.
Ring: …No cancelling this time.
Irm: Of course. Pick out your dress and wait for me. See ya.
Ring: Wait, Irm. About the manager and the workers…
Irm: I know. And the future of your company is resting on the shoulders of the EX-Exbein, too.
Ring: Not just that…
Irm: We’ll talk about the rest of it while enjoying the Tokyo nightlife. See ya there.
Ring: (Irm…)
*Movin’*
Lefina: With us…?
Mekibos: Yeah, just me.
Sean: What are you after?
Mekibos: The council wants to know what’s going to happen on earth. I’m here to collect data for them.
Gilliam: And what’s the real purpose?
Mekibos: I have my own interests in this planet… and to act as your hostage.
Lefina: Hostage…?
Mekibos: I’m leaving myself in your care. In return, I want you to make sure that Zeb, Rof, and Seti don’t get taken prisoner.
Lefina: What are they going to do?
Mekibos: They’re laying low until things settle down. They don’t want to make things worse, either. And if things on Earth take a turn for the worse, I can call on my commanders for help. If you want, that is.
Lefina: … And what about after this is over?
Mekibos: Then we go home.
Katina: So you’re just gonna go back and call the cavalry?
Mekibos: Look, we have no intentions of interfering with what you guys do. That’s why I came to stop Zezernan. I know it’s not gonna be easy for you to trust me on that, which is why I’m leaving myself in your custody. Though, preferably, I’d like to be treated nice enough that I don’t have to say anything bad about you to the Council.
Katina: Well that’s seems pretty convenient for you.
Mekibos: Oh, I know.
Sean: Well, what shall we do, Captain? I’m sure it would be otherwise difficult to get information on the Zovorg.
Lefina: …I’d like to get permission from my superiors, but right now, that’s impossible…. And to keep trouble to a minimum, I’ll handle the repercussions myself.
Katina: Meaning…
Lefina: Mekibos Bulverde, we will take you into our custody.
Mekibos: Well thanks. I like it here, lots of familiar faces.
Lefina: But there will be limitations on where you can go.
Mekibos: Of course. And if you want, you’re free to use my Graterkin in battle.
Irm: Nice of you.
Mekibos: Besides, I told you, I’m interested in this world, too. I want to see how this all goes down, with the Baral and the Ruina.
Lefina: …I’ll consider it.
Katina: If the captain orders it, I can’t refuse it…. But if you try anything funny, you ain’t getting off easy.
Mekibos: I’ll remember that.
Lefina: Then let’s move on. …Professor Shirakawa.
Shu: Regarding the Baral’s Barrier… I believe I’ve figured out how to get through it.
Aya: Really?!
Shu: Yes. As you know, there is only one point on the earth that is not covered by the Baral’s barrier.
Gilliam: The South Pole.
Shu: That’s correct. The area above the Fabula Fores is protected by the Ruina’s boundary field... and it seems the Baral’s barrier was unable to pass through it.
Yang Long: But we are also unable to pass through that Boundary field.
Shu: That is correct, however, between the Baral and Ruina barriers, there is a small area where neither barrier can enter. If we were able to open it slightly, and slide through the face of the barriers… we may be able to descend down to the south pole.
Viletta: How are we going to open that area?
Tsugumi[5]: The key is the Altairlion and the Vegalion. With the output of 3rd generation Tesla Drives in each machine, we are able to use both drives at once using the Twin Module. To put it simply, the Tesla Drives communicate to each other, even if there’s spacial interference between them…. And they can neutralize any disturbances to create a field between them. And if we then combine the Altairlion and the Vegalion into the Hyperion, the output of the Tesla drives will be maxed out. The Twin Module becomes the Squad Module, And the area around the mech becomes what’s known as a Discrete Sphere. The outside becomes reflective, and the inside becomes discontinuous space, or thought it’s been theorized.
Katina: Meaning… what?
Tsugumi: If the Hyperion meets certain conditions, and we release the limiter and activate the Quad Module…. We can create a powerful barrier. Major Filio thought it might even be strong enough to cut through time and space…. But for now, that’s still out of reach.
Irm: I see. So you want the Hyperion to make a sphere between the two barriers?
Tsugumi: Yes. I know it’s incredibly risky…
Katina: If it doesn’t work, you all will get destroyed.
Shu: We have a backup with my Granzon.
Viletta: Could you be more specific?
Shu: First, we secure enough room to accelerate, and have the Hyperion, Granzon, and then the Hiryuu Custom build up speed. As they build up speed, the Hyperion will activate the Discreet Sphere when they reach the point between the barriers, and try to open a hole. After that, the Granzon will use its distortion field, and the friction produced in its wake will widen the hole. Lastly, the Hiryuu Custom will use the Break Field to piece through… We will slide through the Ruina’s barrier, slow down, and make landfall on the ice.
Lefina: …What’s the chance we’ll make it?
Shu: It’s not high, but… It’s higher than if we tried to go directly through the Garden of Baral.
Yang Long: Can we trust you, Shu?
Shu: Of course. My life’s at risk here, too.
Tsugumi: The other problem is that we could be attacked by the Baral or the Ruina before or after making it through the barrier, respectively.
Aya: We’ll… just have to figure that out if it happens.
Sean: Well then, Captain…
Lefina: Yes… Given our current situation, we need to get ourselves back to full power as quickly as possible. We will follow through with Professor Shirakawa and Chief Takakura’s plan… And we’ll go back to earth. All hands stay in position with your machines, and prepare for landing.
*Here we goo*
Tsugumi: …Ibis, Sleigh, 120 seconds until we begin stage 3.
Ibis: Roger.
Sleigh: …We got this far without anything happening.
Tsugumi: It’s possible the Baral could appear at any time, like they have before…
Sleigh: They must have noticed us by now… is there any reason they aren’t coming after us…?
Ibis: We can’t be thinking about that right now. We need to focus on getting the Discrete Sphere activated.
Tsugumi: That’s right. The course and timing are left entirely up to you. Stay focused.
Ibis: I know. Everyone’s lives are in my hands…. I won’t fail them.
Eun: 10 seconds to phase 3…. 9… 8…
Ibis: (I will… I will make this work!)
Eun: 3…. 2… 1… 0. Phase 3, start.
Tsugumi: Tesla drive, Synchronize! Twin Module!
Ibis: Go, Hyperion!
Tsugumi: 10 seconds until we reach the barrier. Stay on course!
Ibis: Let’s do this, Tsugumi! Sleigh!
Sleigh: yeah!
Tsugumi: Tesla Drive Synchronize! Quad Module!
Ibis: Over boost!
*Whiiirrr*
Sleigh: Go, Ibis!
Ibis: Breeaaaaakkkk!
*Hey!*
Ibis: W-we did it! We got through!
Sleigh: Where are the Granzon and the Hiryuu Custom?!
*There they are*
Tsugumi: They made it!
Shu: But it looks like the Ruina have us surrounded.
Lefina: All hands, prepare for battle!
*Boom*
Lefina: !!
*WARNINGS*
Eun: High-speed objects are approaching from dead ahead!
*Wellp*
Tsugumi: It’s the Custodes!
*Booming*
Ibis: !
Sleigh: The Custodes are attacking the Ruina!
*Bye*
Eun: The Custodes have left the area!
Lefina: They…
Ibis: Helped us…?!
Sleigh: why? The fish-shaped Custodes attacked us…
Shu: …
*Hey*
Eun: Captain, we have a message from Steel 2! It came from the Ross Sea!
Lefina: !
Sean: Well this is lucky. Maybe they’re participating in Operation Icebreaker?
Lefina: That may be the case. We will get out of enemy territory and meet up with the Hagane.
*hey everyone’s back*
Previous Chapter: Chapter 56: Operation Reconquista Next Chapter: Chapter 58: Crisis Point
[1] ZEB’S TALKING NORMALLY THE GLOVES ARE OFF PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL
[2] Shu goes haaaaard
[3] Look, I don’t know. It’s crying. Monkeys apparently look like they’re crying in Japan. I do what I can, man.
[4] Pluck out the bud of misfortune!
[5] I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing please help me